And then there suddenly was chocolate...
by korichan
Summary: In which Farfarello discovers his... ahem... love for chocolate... and Crawford thinks the world has gone mad.


title: And then there suddenly was chocolate...  
author: kori  
fandom: weiss kreuz  
pairing: none.  
summary: There's Farfarello. And there's chocolate...  
disclaimer: not mine. not mine. argh.  
thanks: kagi, for beta and everything else.  
dedication: to fuchs. because she wanted it. although she said she doesn't like Schwarz. *sob*  
notes: that's what you get if you and your muses are on a sugar rush. .  
archive: no. (unless you ask first).  
  
*****  
  
  
And then there suddenly was chocolate...  
  
  
He was sure he had to be dreaming. And if not, then he was  
at least hallucinating. Because what explanation could there  
be for a contentedly grinning psychopath sitting in the  
kitchen surrounded by empty chocolate candy wrappings, other  
than that it was a cleverly disguised nightmare or a  
mind-attack from some not-yet-known enemy.  
  
There were various facts that made him come to that  
conclusion and his brain was trying to point them all out to  
him. Firstly, he - Bradley Crawford the Fourth, although he  
was actually the Third, which just proved that his father  
had been quite drunk when he named his son, and that really  
wasn't that unusual... anyway - he was the only one in  
Schwarz who got out of bed at 5 am. Nagi got up next, then -  
a few hours later - Schuldig. Farfarello was *always* last.  
Hell, they had to go and get him, because he wouldn't wake  
up by himself.  
  
No way he would just get up, out of his straight jacket, out  
of his well-locked room and into the kitchen. That just  
didn't happen. (Well, except for the  
getting-out-of-straight-jackets, because Farfarello had  
become something close to a master at ridding himself of  
them.)  
  
Then there was the "I'm crazy and evil and if you don't hurt  
god with me now, I will feel the very sudden and very  
powerful urge to hurt *you*!" business. Evil crazy  
god-or-you-hurting people didn't sit in corners on kitchen  
floors, unwrapping candies and stuffing them in their  
mouths. They also didn't have their bodies practically  
covered with chocolate.  
  
Also, what had happened to "god likes sweets so better give  
me the salt"? Wasn't there supposed to be some constant  
factor in Crawford's life? Wasn't there supposed to be  
something that never changed?  
  
And last but not least, his powers would have certainly  
warned him of what he would find in the kitchen *before* he  
got there. Because his powers *were* a constant factor. They  
did warn him of the evils in the world. And Farfarello in  
the kitchen covered with chocolate was a great evil. It had  
to be. Crazy Irishmen named after people in Dante's Divina  
Comedia didn't just change their ways.  
  
Ergo, he was still sleeping and having a particularly  
horrible nightmare or he was being attacked by a very very  
cruel enemy.  
  
Frowning he pondered his conclusion. If it was a nightmare,  
he should be able to wake himself now that he was aware of  
it being what it was. /wake up now, Bradley. You're having a  
nightmare./  
  
Nothing happened. There was still a mad Irishman devouring  
chocolate on the kitchen floor. Bad image.  
  
Crawford shut his eyes tightly and counted to ten. /...  
ten... I'm gonna look now!/ But when he did, what did he  
see? Chocolate, sweet sweet chocolate being stuffed into  
mouth of mad man. Mad chocolate-hating man.  
  
Ok. No nightmare. Check. On to the next option. "Schuldig!!"  
He stalked off into the direction of the telepath's room.  
"Schuldig!!" No time for niceties when cruel evildoers take  
over your brain (well, more cruel evildoers than himself).  
He stormed into Schuldig's room after knocking once - okay,  
so there *are* things you can't do without if you are  
Bradley Crawford the Fourth-but-actually-the-Third. Knocking  
before entering the room of an unsuspecting teammate was one  
of them.  
  
"Schuldig, cruel evildoers are in my head!" He yelled as he  
closed in on said unsuspecting teammate who had his head  
buried under the pillow.  
  
"Hmmmmmm."  
  
Maybe slightly hysterical, but never panicked - Crawfords,  
nevermind which number they had, *never* panicked - he tried  
to shake the redhead awake.  
  
"Cruel evildoers are in my head and they make me see  
Farfarello inhaling our candy stash."  
  
"Hrrrrrrmmmmmm."  
  
The German slapped his hands away, muttered some more,  
grabbed a corner of the blanket and turned his back to him,  
firmly wrapping himself into beddings and blankets.  
  
"Don't you care at all what's happening to me?" Crawford all  
but whined at the long strands of red hair.  
  
"Nein. Geh weg. Muss schlafen."  
  
Flabbergasted, Crawford stood there, his arms still  
outstretched towards Schuldig to try and wake him up. He  
didn't know if he'd just been told that there was no reason  
to panic - not that he would, ever - or if the German had  
insulted him, his mother and the rest of his family.  
  
Damn himself for not bothering to learn German. You could  
never know when you'd need it, like *right now*. Crawford  
had the sudden urge to forget all his maturity and  
stick-up-the-ass-ness in favor for stomping his foot and go  
sit pouting in a dark corner.  
  
Instead he stomped his foot and stormed out of the room.  
"Nagi! Nagi, wake up! NOW!"  
  
The teenager in question was already standing in the  
hallway, dressed only in a girlish nightshirt with Sailor  
Pluto printed on the front. He looked as if he had just  
woken up and bolted out of bed at his teamleader's yells.  
(Which he probably had...)  
  
"Crawford? Is there an emergency?" He looked disgruntled and  
dishevelled, his hair standing away into every possible  
direction, his face still bearing witness of every wrinkle  
there had been in his pillow.  
  
"Yes! Someone is attacking me! Some strange telepath is in  
my head trying to make me go crazy!"  
  
*That* sent the boy in a panicked frenzy. He was  
(figuratively speaking) hovering over Crawford, holding his  
arm by the ellbow and tugging at his sleeve. "Are you hurt?  
What are they doing?"  
  
"They're sending me hallucinations. And no, I'm not hurt."  
He was - however - slightly flattered by Nagi's worrying.  
But only slightly. "Nagi. Stop tugging at my sleeve. Help  
me! You have to go into the kitchen with me and tell me that  
there's not Farfarello eating chocolate!" He grabbed the  
boy's wrist and dragged him through the corridor toward the  
kitchen.  
  
Suddenly he noticed that the wrist in his hand was  
trembling. Shaking as if its owner was crying. Nagi? Crying?  
Crawford turned around.  
  
The small telekinetic's face had a deep red color, he was  
gasping for air and shaking. And dammit, he was laughing!  
Crawford couldn't believe it, had they invaded the boy's  
brain too? Cold fear gripped his heart. "Nagi! Nagi,  
everything will be fine. You'll see. I'll make it all  
better." He put his hands on small shoulders.  
  
But Nagi was shaking his head, trying to say something  
between fits of laughter. "Farfarello... Chocolate..."  
More than that wasn't understandable. Crawford used the grip  
he still had on the other's shoulders to try and shake some  
sense into him. "Nagi! Calm down! I have to know! What's the  
matter?"  
  
"Schuldig... ::gasp:: ... told Farfarello that... ::giggle::  
... chocolate was god's food... ::giggle-gasp:: and that  
eating it was like stealing... ::giggle::... from god...  
::dissolves into laughter again::"  
  
"Argh" was all Crawford's brain had to say to this.  
  
  
*****  
  
end. 


End file.
